Finding Mr (or Ms) Right the smart and safe way

I didn't author this post...Colter Brian is the author. We spend so much time talking about online dating around here, and while I personally have never had a problem, I have heard horror stories. Some of Colter's suggestions might be a good idea, especially if you want to dip your toe in the online dating pool, but are hesitant to do so.

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Let’s face it, we are most definitely not a society based upon delayed gratification, rather we are a culture of instant satisfaction, of super-speed, fast and convenient, quick and painless. We can’t stand having to wait for the latest and greatest thing to come our way and yes, this includes dating. It seems that sometimes we are in such a big hurry to shed that ‘single’ status, we are willing to thwart the time it takes to meet a compatible mate and subject ourselves to painful task of weeding out numerous clunkers in the process. 

This is exactly what dating sites are banking on. 

No doubt about it; dating is big business; numbers from 2012 alone were in the billions of dollars! 

If online dating stills sounds appealing, just use caution. Don’t forget, that there are those in the cybersphere just lying in wait to take advantage of your naiveté and willingness only to present you with a host of false pretenses (think, Manti Teo’o). With internet dating users estimated in the millions, this phenomenon could potentially invite a huge pool of trouble, all at your fingertips. 

So how can you start your love match without the worry? 

* Research the Company: This includes taking the time to look online and read reviews about other client’s experiences. The Better Business Bureau is also another avenue to double-check the company’s integrity as well as finding out about any pending legal situations. Are there numerous complaints? Get out and talk with friends and acquaintances about their own experiences, chances are if a trusted friend has had some success you can feel confident to pursue your own quest.

* Background Check: If you go to an online site and are determined to start your match quest, do so at your own peril. According to statistics, men on average add about two inches to their height and women submit much lower numbers for their weight. If, of course, certain physical attributes are not your key criteria, still be a bit wary with the fact that someone is already using false material to try to attract your attention. If they are lying about something as minimal as height/weight, what else might they be lying about? A site like Online Searches can take the worry out about a new prospect. If your new paramour claims to be a CFO of a certain Fortune 500 company and you find out that not only are they not a CFO, CEO or a GCC (Garbage Collector Consultant) they actually haven’t held a job in ten years, in fact they live at home in their parent’s trailer - run, do not walk away!

* Good Judgment: When starting with your dating adventures, don’t forget to bring a bout of common sense along. After all, a dating site that claims scientific methods for matches can never predict how two interacting humans will act once introduced, genetically or personality matches might be a good start, but there is no guarantee in a ‘perfect’ match.   Remember the old ‘oil and water’ mix or rather ‘fire and gasoline’. You like the fact that he called you often to check to see how you were doing, but what you didn’t like was the last ten phone calls that came in quick succession, starting at three in the morning. What might initially seem like a cute, little quirk can get tiresome and creepy, very quickly. The laws of attraction may seem initially enticing but don’t go overboard, as with anything in life; moderation is the key to success. Take your time, if it doesn’t feel right, heed those instincts. After all, the stress of breaking up with ‘new someone special’ certainly does dampen those romantic flames before your next potential date.

Yes, we all love the idea of finding our soul mate; someone who shares our dreams, our values, who not only meets but exceeds our personal criteria. It would be nice to find this certain someone and there is a host of valid testimonials online about those lucky few who met the man/woman of their dreams. Let's face it, for the majority of users, the old tried and true methods may actually have the same amount of success, as in, meeting someone at an activity you love to do; pottery making, hiking, book clubs and church can be some of these places that your true love might just be waiting. If however, these methods are failing to amount to any success you can try the online route; just use good judgment, double-check their background and don’t be in such a hurry. 

Remember what your mother always told you: Haste makes waste! Keep this in mind the next time you start perusing your online dates. The last thing you want to do is to find yourself in a dating nightmare, changing your old routines (and phone numbers, emails) to avoid running into them. After all that you might even start lamenting those easier, single days again.

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Colter Brian is a former private investigator/photographer and now a freelance writer. He contributes to sites such as Online Searches. Some of Colter's hobbies include spending time in the outdoors and perfecting his pasta recipes for his toughest critics - his two children.